A Salutation to Hematoma’s

In fighting, the hematoma is the endangered animal of injuries, it’s rarely ever seen, but when you witness it you want to sit and study it for days on end. A hematoma happens when a blood vessel bursts, and the blood collects and clots in a small area. As a tribute to this wonderful and terrifying injury, I’ve collected some of the more impressive hematomas in recent memory.

Mark Hominick:

The hematoma that inspired this post in the first place. This occurred from an elbow delivered by Jose Aldo and the alien blood-sack grew at an insane rate. The thing, now growing and probably pulsing at that point, supercharged Hominick. He started to push the pace of the fight and Aldo began tentatively throwing punches, probably because he was scared if he hit the thing a million baby spiders would fly out everywhere. It wasn’t enough to win the fight, but that’s ok, the aliens that the hematoma had called upon were already arriving in droves.

Jerome Le Banner:

Look at that monster. This guy lost right? No, in fact, Le Banner spent most of the fight absolutely destroying Cyril Abidi. But Abidi did enough damage to cause a freak mutant child to form on Le Banner’s face. After the fight, it was said that Le Banner’s growth was seen with a 3-boobed woman telling Arnold Schwarzenegger to “Save Mars”.

Hasim Rahman:

GAAAAH! Is it just me, or is that thing pretty clearly trying to tear away from his head and start a new life on its own. I can almost hear it wheezing “Free me”. Granted, Rahman has survived a terrible car crash and was shot five times, so spawning the child of Beelzebub on his forehead probably wasn’t that big of a deal.

Fernando Vargas:

This looks like Vargas tried growing Morel mushrooms in his eye socket. If Vargas were to open that eye it would look like a potato trying to talk to you. This is most definitely an alien pregnancy that has been gestated to full term. The occupation of Earth began on a boxer’s eyeball. Wait – my house’s power just went off . . I think the hematomas found me. If you see me walking around town with a hematoma – run!

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One Response to A Salutation to Hematoma’s

  1. flydaniel says:

    I thought Hominick’s hematoma is the biggest, but scrolling down your blog proved me wrong. Hematomas! Ruuuuun!

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