Peter Aerts vs Rob Van Esdonk – K1 Grand Prix 1994 (KO around 16:15)
Peter Aerts is one of the greatest kickboxer’s of all time. Rob Van Esdonk is lanky and awkward. You can see where this is going. This looks more like an instructional video on how to disassemble tall stalks of corn. I’ve seen less carnage in Quinton Tarntino films. In the 3rd round Aerts finally puts Van Esdonk out of his misery with a head kick, but instead of going straight down, Van Esdonk’s now mindless body just stands there with his hand on his chin like he’s contemplating sleep or more punishment. Aerts helps him with this decision with a little love tap on the chin.
Ernesto Hoost vs John Kleijn (KO around 8:20)
Ernesto Hoost’s nickname is Mr. Perfect. He kicks ass like everyone did in their imaginations when they were 7. Hoost spent most of this fight throwing crisp combinations and casually moving out of the way of any John Kleijn attack. Then Kleijn opened up with a hook, and Hoost threw a piston of a cross right into Kleijn’s jaw. His head snapped back so hard people in the 50th row got splattered with his sweat. Kleijn goes limp and falls to the ground like a pile of laundry, and Hoost does his trademark faabuloouus victory dance just to rub it in.
Jerome Le Banner vs Ray Sefo (KO around 00:45)
Ray Sefo is made of titanium and the ashes of ancient Viking warlords. But he was still new to K-1 at the time of this fight and wasn’t given much of a chance against a living legend in Jerome Le Banner. Le Banner knocked Sefo down in the 1st and awoke the raging Viking spirits that were slumbering in Ray’s fists. Le Banner came in strong but careless, thinking he was about to close the fight. But when titanium bones and angry war-fists combine, they don’t have to hit hard to break your jaw in four separate places. Which is exactly what Sefo did to Le Banner.
John Kleijn vs Serugio Augusto Machado (Both KO’s around 3:35)
A few seconds into this fight, Kleijn hits Machado with a high kick that scrambles his brain. Machado pops right back up, but his composure is deceiving. As the ref is doing the standing count, Machado makes a face like someone who’s deciding whether or not they want curly fries with their shake. Then when the ref gets in his face to ask if he’s ok, he nods yes, but with a look of confusion as to why a small Asian man is yelling at him in Arby’s. Then he walks into the center of the ring so a fat white guy can knock him out cold, which is what happens everytime I go to an Arby’s.
Mike Bernardo vs Masaaki Satake (awesome starts around 6:30)
This is a classic fight. Satake was picked apart in the first round and Bernardo was swinging for the fences. Bernardo connected a couple of times and sent Satake to the mat hard. But despite losing all the memories from before age 18, Satake kept getting up. Bernardo has Satake backing up and hurt early in the 2nd, and Satake whiffs with a head kick but uses his momentum to swing his other leg around for a spinning heel kick that wobbles Bernardo. Just watch the ending.
Bob Sapp vs Akebono (KO around 2:50)
Bob Sapp looks like those cows that are artificially bred to be mostly meat. Akebono is a sumo wrestler whose body mass was mostly margerine. This fight gave cannibals all across the globe raging boners. Then Sapp nailed Akebono with a punch that sent his boneless gravy-sack of a body to the mat, and across the world tubs of Crisco wept for their fallen brother.
Stefan Leko vs Peter Aerts
Want a lesson in why you keep your hands up during a fight? Here’s the textbook. Both of these fighters throw some wild kicks and punches at each other and fall backwards. As they close back in, Leko has his hands on his chin, Aerts’ hands are by his side, guess who gets knocked out?
Takayuki Kohiruimaki vs Kozo Takeda (Meteor Strikes around 3:55)
Kozo was winning most of this fight with combos and tree-chopping leg kicks that knocked Takayuki down a few times. But if it’s the strike you never see coming that gets you, then Kozo has no fucking excuse. Takayuki is measuring up for a knockout strike the whole fight. He barely makes any moves, just measures up all of Kozo’s attacks. Then in the 2nd Takayui pulls Kozo’s head down and throws a meteor of a right knee straight through Kozo’s guard. The result is exactly like the movie Armageddon, but if the asteroid won.
Mighty Mo vs Kaoklai Kaenorsing (Mighty Mo breaks it down around 4:45)
Mighty Mo is a Polynesian kickboxer, which means his jaw and fists are made of hardened volcanic rock infused with crazy. Kaoklai is a champion kickboxer from the mecca of Muay Thai, Thailand. And apparently, when you combine those ingredients and put them in a ring, you get hilarious unconscious dance moves.
Ernesto Hoost vs Maurice Smith (KO around 13:05)
Looking back on the history of these two fighters, you would think Hoost would blow Smith out of the water and dominate, but it was pretty closely contested. The two traded knees in the clinch and chopping leg kicks, and after 2 rounds it was an even fight. Hoost came out in the third with evil intentions. He was pushing the pace and had Smith backing up for most of the round. Then they clinch in the middle of the ring and Hoost pushes out of it and at the exact same moment throws a high kick directly into Smith’s brain. There are still memorials held at that location every year for all of Maurice Smith’s brain cells.